No mud, no lotus
Thich Nhat Hanh said “No Mud, No Lotus.” This is also the title of a book he wrote. I like it all on its own. And I also like it so much more than “no pain, no gain.”
I feel like these two sayings are cousins, but from very different families!
I hear this idea of “no pain, no gain” all the time in my practice. Clients come in with this idea that we have to really suffer to find any relief. I think there is a lot to unpack here, and I’m interested in keeping the lid of the jar open for this one.
No pain, no gain wreaks to me of the patriarchy, rugged individualism, self-hatred or at the very minimum self-flagellation, judeo-christian notions of good vs evil…. Basically, it’s nothing that I want to pledge allegiance to and certainly do not want to encourage in my bodywork practice.
I understand that there are times, for example after a surgery, we are called upon to dig deep and commit to a rehabilitative process that will, at times, be uncomfortable. And from this committed effort with our physical therapy, there will be a gain in range of motion or strength or support. I’m up for all of this. So, I guesssssssss, if we have to, we could call that “no pain, no gain.” (But I still don’t like it.)
I wonder what it would feel like internally if we called the efforting “mud” and the greater strength and mobility the “lotus?” Does that create a different vibration in your being? While you are doing your reps and stretches, you truly are deep in the mud, but so close there will be a lotus flower!
When clients are on my table and we are checking in about the contact that I’m offering, I sometimes hear, “You can go deeper. No pain, no gain. Right?” This is curious to me, because I am under the impression that the client is here to see me because they are IN pain and want to eventually GET OUT of pain. So why would it be desired to feel MORE pain first?
Pain is a tricky word. It’s a catchall. And it doesn’t really describe anything or give context and flavor. I wrote more about this in my other blog entry, Pain: A Limiting Palette.
For now, I want to invite you to play with the expression, “no mud, no lotus.” What does it invoke for you when you say it aloud or to yourself? What sensations does it bring up for you? Contrast that with “no pain, no gain.” How does that feel as it rolls off your tongue? Some might say it’s just semantics, but I think these details matter. A lot.
