Laying of the Hands
What if I told you that this is basically what I do? And not in any kind of mystical way unique to me.
We all perform the Laying of the Hands.
We bump our shin on the coffee table or clunk a shoulder into a cabinet door. Our hand immediately goes to that spot to give it a rub or a caress. This is instinct. “Ouch! I need to lay my hand there.” And then it usually feels a bit better. Is this learned or innate? I am not sure. If we have been fortunate enough to have spent formative years within a loving and tender family environment, we would have found comfort and contact at the ready when our hurt was big enough to warrant it.
The other day, I was working in my office and heard a crunch/crash and a loud wail from down in the shared courtyard. I peeked my head out to see a toddler-aged child fallen and a caregiver rushing over to comfort them. The adult squatted down to better hold the little one in an embrace. And this was so tender, but it got even more poignant. In fact, I find myself tearing up a bit as I write this story.
Because what I saw next was the child - in the midst of fully howling in pain and shock - gently patting the caregiver’s back.
It looked like the gentle pats were conveying, “You’re okay, thank you for being with me.” But perhaps more simply, this was a learned response from the child from their own experience of Laying of the Hands, returning that kindness back. They know it is what one does to give comfort.
I have come to a place in my practice where I don’t know if I could argue that I am doing something more sophisticated than what I witnessed in the courtyard that day. A client comes to me in pain. I listen. I lay my hands. Comfort often follows.
These days, I think so much less about fascia and muscles. They are important, to be clear, but more often than not it’s the laying of the hands that creates the shift. This act of care and quiet listening allows a nervous system to soften, relax, reconsider whatever it is tightly guarding. And this is primarily how I help people feel better in their body.
It is not mystical, but it is kinda magical. And it holds my attention all damn day because it’s just so fascinating. I don’t claim this as a superpower; it’s here for all of us to tap into when we need it.
